Your child has told you who they are. Maybe the words came out tentatively, maybe with fierce certainty — but they came. And now you’re navigating a world of questions, emotions, and decisions that you probably didn’t expect to face. Here’s the most important thing I can tell you as a therapist: you are not alone, and your child can thrive.
What transgender children need — what all children need — is to feel seen, valued, and safe. Therapy, when it’s the right kind, can be a powerful tool in making that possible.
Athena Care Psychologist Dr. Leigh Van Horn, Ph.D. shares that, “even if it takes time, parents can demonstrate their support by actively learning, growing, and letting them know they are here to support them no matter what the future holds.”
The Reality: Why Support Matters So Much
Let’s start with the data, because it’s both sobering and clarifying. According to The Trevor Project’s 2025 U.S. National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ+ Young People, 40% of transgender and nonbinary young people seriously considered suicide in the past year. That’s not a reflection of something inherently wrong with being transgender. As The Trevor Project consistently emphasizes, LGBTQ+ young people are not inherently prone to higher suicide risk — rather, they are placed at higher risk because of how they are mistreated and stigmatized.
The antidote to those risks is clear: support. Affirming support from families, schools, and mental health professionals changes outcomes dramatically.
What Gender-Affirming Therapy Actually Is
Gender-affirming therapy does not push children toward or away from a particular identity. It creates a space where a young person can safely explore who they are without judgment or agenda. The American Psychological Association is unequivocal on this point: psychotherapeutic treatment for transgender and nonbinary youth should aim to help children and adolescents explore and understand, rather than change, their gender identity. Supportive mental health care greatly reduces the risk of depression, suicide, and other negative outcomes for transgender and nonbinary youth.
This is why conversion therapy — any attempt to change a child’s gender identity — is not only ineffective but harmful, and is opposed by every major medical and mental health association in the United States, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, and the APA.
A good gender-affirming therapist starts from one premise: your child deserves to be fully seen and supported for who they are.
How Therapy Helps Your Child
1. Helping the child understand and find the language to help them communicate complex feelings.
Many transgender children carry feelings they can’t yet name. Affirming therapy can help them put words to complex experiences like gender dysphoria — the distress of living in a body that doesn’t align with their identity — and gender euphoria, the joy of expressing their true self. Naming these experiences reduces their power and gives children a framework for understanding themselves.
2. Building resilience against stigma and bullying.
Transgender children face real-world challenges: misgendering, social exclusion, and, in today’s climate, the weight of anti-LGBTQ+ political rhetoric. The Trevor Project’s 2025 survey found that anti-LGBTQ+ victimization, policies, and rhetoric contributed meaningfully to poor mental health and suicide risk among LGBTQ+ young people. A therapist can help your child develop coping strategies, process these experiences, and build the internal resilience to move through a world that doesn’t always affirm them.
3. Supporting identity development at every stage.
Gender identity can evolve — and that’s okay. Therapy offers a steady, non-judgmental space where a child can explore their identity over time, without pressure to arrive at a final answer before they’re ready. This is especially valuable during adolescence, when identity questions intensify for every young person.
4. Addressing co-occurring mental health needs.
Many transgender youth come to therapy carrying anxiety, depression, or trauma — often as a direct result of stigma and lack of acceptance, not as a consequence of being transgender. A skilled therapist can address these needs directly while holding the child’s gender identity with respect and affirmation.
How Therapy Helps Parents and Families
Here’s something parents don’t always hear: your child’s mental health is deeply tied to your support. Research consistently shows that transgender and gender-diverse youth with “very supportive” parents had greater positive self-esteem, higher life satisfaction, and a decreased frequency of depression and suicide attempts compared to those whose parents were “somewhat to not at all supportive.”
That’s not meant to add pressure — it’s meant to empower you. Your love and acceptance are genuinely life-saving.
Therapy can help parents, too. You may be grappling with grief, fear, confusion, or uncertainty about how to help. A family therapist experienced in gender-affirming care can:
- Help you process your own emotions so they don’t inadvertently become a burden on your child
- Give you practical tools for advocating at school and with extended family
- Guide conversations about names, pronouns, and social transition at a pace that works for your whole family
- Help siblings and other family members understand and adjust
Dr. Van Horn points out that often, “the child and parent often have very different timetables. The child has often been thinking about this for months or years before telling the parent. The parent is behind!” Therapy can support families in moments like this as well.
Therapy for parents can guide them through uncertainty about the future. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to be willing to show up.
Finding the Right Therapist
Not all therapists are equipped to work with transgender youth. When searching, look for someone who:
- Uses gender-affirming, LGBTQ+-inclusive language in their practice description
- Has specific training or experience with gender-diverse children and adolescents
- Is willing to collaborate with medical providers if needed
- Does not practice or endorse conversion therapy in any form
Good resources for finding affirming therapists include the GLMA (Health Professionals Advancing LGBTQ+ Equality) provider directory, Psychology Today’s LGBTQ+-filter search, and PFLAG’s local chapter referrals.
The Bottom Line
Familial and peer support is crucial in fostering positive outcomes for transgender children and adolescents. The presence of affirming support networks is critical — lack of such support can result in rejection, depression and suicide, homelessness, and other negative outcomes.
Therapy is one powerful piece of that support network. When a transgender child has a therapist who sees them fully, and parents who love them unconditionally, the research is clear: they can thrive.
Your child told you who they are. The most powerful thing you can do now is believe them.
If any of the above resonated with you or someone you love, reach out to Athena Care to understand learn how we can help you. You can contact us by filling out this short form or call/text us at +1 877-641-1155 or email [email protected].
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Dr. E. Leigh Van Horn, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Van Horn is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual and couples therapy as well as assessment for ADHD/LD, personality disorders, and a variety of other psychological and neuropsychological disorders. She earned her PhD from Tennessee State University and completed her internship and postdoctoral residency at Vanderbilt University’s Psychological and Counseling Center.
Meg Stein, CFP
Editor
Meg is a certified mindfulness instructor and works at Alive and Aware Practice in Durham, NC. She has over ten years of experience as a content creator and marketing consultant, working in mental healthcare and social justice.
Sources:
U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Office of Population Affairs. (2023). Gender-Affirming Care and Young People. https://opa.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/2023-08/gender-affirming-care-young-people.pdf
American Psychological Association. (2025). APA Statement on Access to Treatment for Gender Diverse People. https://updates.apaservices.org/statement-on-access-to-treatment-for-transgender-gender-diverse-and-nonbinary-people
The Trevor Project. (2025). 2025 U.S. National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ+ Young People. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/survey-2025/
The Trevor Project. (2024). 2024 U.S. National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ+ Young People. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/survey-2024/
Tandem Psychology. (2025). Affirmative Therapy with Trans Youth and Their Parents. https://tandempsychology.com/affirmative-therapy-with-trans-youth-and-their-parents/
Rafferty, J., & Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health. (2024). Gender-Affirming Care of Transgender and Gender Diverse Youth: Current Concepts. PMC. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11045042/